LET ME BE YOUR MISTAKE
by Levis Kihara
2 months ago
Hello Levys. Am Sweet and am really impressed by your blog. Aaaaaaahm, I just dropped by to ask you If we could hang out probably this weekend, I’ll buy you a drink, don’t disappoint a girl who just offered you a treat. Bring The Guy I’ll bring his patner (wink).
That was what the message read. I have no idea who Sweet is or how she looks like. She just texts in watsapp and like that she’s gone. She has no display photo, the status only read “Available” , last seen yesterday 2256 hrs. Blind dates has never been my thing unless the one I only see in the TV, tujuane. Well I only agreed to her conditions because I was curious. Very curious indeed.
I was quite on time and the bad thing was that the place was kinda full of people and I had no clue of who I was meeting with. What if it’s a prank? What if it’s just a boy playing around with my mind? What if indeed she could not make it? Such questions only made the situation worse. I grab an empty stool, sit at the bar and think of what to take.
“What can I offer you” that would be the bar woman, always pretty I fail to understand why. Beer or vodka? Noh it’s quite early beer will do. I opt for a bottle of Tusker Cider and am about to shout my order when someone brushes her hands through my unkempt hair,
” Wow, I never thought you’d show up. Cuter than the pic I got to see”
I get to hear the voice and am already lost in my world in imagination. I can already picture how she looks and I hope she won’t disappoint me when it comes to beauty.
I turn back and there, she stands a young lady in full glamour, of medium height, brown complexion, hair rolling down to her shoulders, halfway unbuttoned shirt, firm breasts. Oh gosh! Young and pretty.
She takes my hand and gosh her palms are soft and leads me to an open table at a dimly lit corner. I want to sit across her by the table but sensing this, she pulls me towards her that unknowingly we kiss.
Well if course she is tired as I am, I could feel her finger nails stuck in my back all night long, she was sweet I tell you…
Sweet: You have no idea how much I’ve been craving to taste those lips.
Me: Did you taste them?
Terry: Oooh not yet.
She comes again as if provoked and kisses me again, kinda passionately now with renewed vigour.
Me: That was what you wanted?
She was cut short when a waiter interrupts and asks what we’ll be having.
Sweet: Vodka, two bottles.
Sweet: Why did you even come, was it not for a drink?
Me: Ooh okay.
Almost immediately the drinks come with a soft drink I could not tell which and glass tots. By the time we are done, I don’t think I’ll be feeling myself.
Her: To the guy
We take a tot.
Me: To Sweet
We take a tot.
Her: To your blog.
We take a tot
Her: To your sweet love poems.
We take a tot.
Her: To us
We take two tots
Where do you get such a combination, beauty and crazy. She’s really one of a kind but who am I? Let me see what she is made of.
Me: So who are you?
Gives me a certain irritating look.
Me: It’s clear I don’t know you. Who do they call you anyway?
Her: Am Sweet.
Me: I get you. So Sweet what’s your name?
Sweet: Sh*t! I just told you s…w..e…e…t.
Me: I have no idea who you are but am kinda falling for you. But is this how we’ll begin our adventure?
Sweet: (smirky smile) Ooh really, an adventure you say?
Me: Yeah, just the way you like it. Tons of fun.
Sweet: Aaaaaaw,( adjusting posture) I have a craving of fun. How much fun are we exactly talking about?
Me: You have no idea. Lots lots of fun. Only if you can handle it.
Sweet: Be my guest baby. The pleasure is all mine. You wanna dance?
Me: Nooh that ain’t my stuff.
Sweet: Come on, just give it a try.
I listen and the song I hear playing on the background is Willy Paul’s I can’t tell whether it’s digrii or it’s the drink that makes me hear jigi jigi. Anyway I can’t dance to that tune.
She leans back, fishes out a cigar lits it and the place gets smoky within no time. I enjoy watching her blow puffs of smoke, she has quite an experience at such.
Sweet: Am Terry
Me: I know.
Terry: How do you know that?
Me: I don’t know. Am just avoiding a futile conversation about your name.
Terry: You are so full of yourself. With your hands on my boobs, one would think am begging you to have a piece of me.
Me: (sarcastic laugh) Have you noticed we are the only one in this place acting as if we are afraid of each other?
Terry: So what do you want?
Me: You want me right?
Terry: Yes babe, all of you.
Terry: I can let you have me, all night. (draws closer) We don’t have to use rubber. Am clean
Me: Unfortunately am not.
Terry: Not really you don’t look like one.
Me: Now you are a sorcerer. You tell by looking, anyway am also clean, am too innocent to have it.
She sighs deeply when I touch her thigh I guess she never expected that.
Me: There’s something intriguing that I really admire about a woman. You go to her, she rejects you, you go again she abuses you but with persistence you make her love you. It’s quite a task if you ask me to get her pants down. Are you a football fan Terry?
Terry: Naaaah not my thing.
Me: Twenty two players run around chasing down a lifeless ball for a whole 90 minutes. They endure even harsh downpours for the love of the game, tricky? Then after all that the winner is given a trophy, the whole team jubilates. Back at home you also get the feeling of how happy they are. Same applies to a woman, there’s this thing that comes after winning her heart. You feel her spirit melt into your arms, the thought of undressing her also fades since whole heartedly you are glad she’s yours since sincerely you know she didn’t cheat, it’s a mutual feeling, an affection that draws you both closer. I can’t have you Terry tonight, because I never won your heart and what you’ll be giving me in return is not love. It’s something to do with my looks probably or even what I paid with my HELB money. Are you worth that, can I buy you?
Terry: Wow, that’s so sweet. Indeed a poet. I wonder what am even feeling for you right now, love or pity.
Me: If it’s love forget about it, if it’s pity fan it.
She pours the vodka once again and proposes a toast,
Terry: To all writers. Manipulating us with their power of words. Making us believe everything that comes from them is real. May God redeem you poor bastards!
Me: Redemption is all we need.Redemption is all we lack.
We take sips, more more and more sips untill in the late night we are lost, in our own, me and her.
Also read : Relationship Rules for Every Campuser to Follow
I wake up with a slight headache, and am about to stretch myself when I notice her sleeping on my arm. Young, beautiful, angelic even without make up she still looks the same. She is staring at me, I bet for quite sometime and all she does is give me a very tired smile. Well if course she is tired as I am, I could feel her finger nails stuck in my back all night long, she was sweet I tell you.
Terry: I always wonder why of all people I had to like you.
Me: Do you remember when we first hang out?
Terry: Please don’t sing that chorus, I know the song well
Me: Do you remember or you don’t?
Terry: I do
Me: What did we agree?
Terry: There’s no falling for each other but those were just empty words. You told me “No matter what transpires between us, don’t make it personal.”
Me: Do you remember what you told me as a feed back?
Terry: I said “If I was to love again, you would be that last person that will ever cross my mind”. But of course I had to say that after what happened in the past. (sighs) okay I admit. I was such a dumb ass. I fell for you
She gets up, pulls the sheet covering her chest, which I hardly doubt she has anything on and leans on one of the walls. Am forced to go and seat next to her and all she does is stare and smile at me, holding my hand in hers.
Sweet: What’s up, something troubling you?
Me: Am tired. Tired of this life already. Hedging class, telling my friend to sign in for me yet I forget the main reason I came here was to learn. I want to talk to someone, someone sensible, someone who can challenge me to think critically, someone to ignite a conversation that will leave me thinking about re-directing my life. I think am getting lost and I don’t want to realize it too late. I want during the week days I study, I want to visit the library so frequently that my brain will actually knock out. I want during the weekend, when I go to that strip club, I want a great strip act, I want as many bottles of beer as I want or why did I even come to this place? I just want challenge and I give my best at what I do.
Sweet: (She holds my face by her feeble hands and unknowingly pants a kiss) You are thinking too much now.
Me: Well maybe maybe not. Do you have any Idea why I hate some people. They are contended with what they have. They never aspire for more, the flame of desire in them was extinguished by a gush of wind, those are quitters. Do you have any Idea of why I hated my girlfriend? She was a coward. She was with me not because she loved me but because she pitied me. I didn’t make her blood boil whenever I touched her, I only frightened her. She did everything I said, do that she did, don’t do this she doesn’t do it. She didn’t object, just did it. To hell with this love stuff.
Sweet: But you were still with her?
Me: Yes because she was my only hope left, she gave me the will power to keep on fighting.
Terry: No wonder you acting that way. You never care, I think egocentric.
Me: Just forget it. Am used to being lonely yeah and whenever I write, the feeling seizes to exist.
Terry: In loneliness you write, and what you write attracts others to you. I don’t think you notice that.
Me: Yeah but what am I to do?I just screw whoever I feel like, whenever I feel like.
Terry: I know I told you I won’t fall. I will never fall but I fell. (She throws punches at my shoulder crying) I freaking tripped and fell in this sh*t called love.
Me: We had a deal.
Terry: Well there’s a problem here. Deal with the sweetest thing in your life or continue entertaining other bitches.
Me: Sorry, what did you just say?
Terry: Continue entertaining other bitches.
Me: No I mean the other one.
Terry: Deal with the sweetest thing in your life.
Me: You think you are the sweetest thing in my life?
Terry: Yeah you are so into me more like an obsession.
Me: (clicking) Where did you pick that from. No am not!
Terry: Then who else makes you feel like I do?
Me: The girl next door.
Terry: Hell no, I can already tell that.
Me: My girlfriend.
Terry: She doesn’t even exist, she’s not around.
Me: Then I’d say I have no one sweet in my life. Am all alone and all I do is play around.
Terry: Am fine with you playing around but what we have is special. So when asked who is the sweetest person in your life you say…
Me: No one.
Terry: Are you seriously trying to say there’s nothing special about us?
Me: I don’t do us. There’s no us. Me and you are not a thing. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. You mean absolutely nothing to me. No one does.
Terry: You are so full of yourself sincerely. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Like am used piece of trash, thrown in the bin after being of use. Regret is setting in and I ask myself why I even gave myself to you. I tried to resist but you’ve been so nice to me that I just couldn’t tell what I was doing. You’ve put up with my attitude and I really don’t know why though one thing I know is that you don’t love me. We’ve made love, I’ve given myself to you but that’s not enough but to me, we made the best moments in my whole life. I love you. (She rubs her eyes and it’s clear she’s crying) I love you Levys.
Me: Me and you are a ticking time bomb.
Terry: I know am sometimes empty headed and act stupid but you are so hard to get through.
Me: That was the last time we were doing it.
Terry: Is this a goodbye?
Me: Maybe it is probably a never see you again moment.
Terry: I get you atleast you did not have to kick me out.
I watch her dress, fighting the demon inside me trying to get emotional. Am almost regretting letting her go, girls like this are hard to come by but it has to be done.
Terry: You will always be in my heart. Leave alone my mind, I’ll always be thinking of you, I’ll be feeling you, I’ll always be dreaming about you but it will be a nightmare. A monster who just used me for pleasure and after he’s fed enough he throws me like a carcass. I hate you.
Me: It’s okay if that will make you feel better.
Terry: This is what you do? Play with people’s feelings and leave them. You have no idea what you are losing. You lose friends and adding so many people in your hate list. No wonder you are always lonely.
Me: I don’t need those so called friends. Am a writer for no reason am used to being lonely.
She comes and hugs me. At this point I feel like breaking down but my ego holds back.
Terry: You don’t have to be like this.
Me: I’ve made so many mistakes already, am not making another just let me be.
Terry: We all make mistakes and please let me be yours. Let me be your mistake.
Am left alone as always with conflicting thoughts and her words echo, let me be your mistake. Sounds kinda impressive for a punch line. Finally I have a story to write. Well I hate saying this but I swear am having my hopes high it will continue. I sure hope it’s just the first episode of a damn good story.
Levis is a Freshman at Kenyatta University main campus. In addition to his passion in pursuing his degree program, he is a creative and fiction writer, and a contributor to the KU Radio blog.
For correspondence, check out his personal blog.